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rescue! 911

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[13 Dec 2004|10:57am]
[ mood | confused, hungry ]

confused patient #1 - oh my head... what happened?

dr. yeung - just relax, you are at Our Lady of Mercy Hospital, you were involved in a serious car accident, you're lucky to be alive!

confused patent #1 - oh my god,jeffery! where is my beloved jeffery!?

dr. yeung - he is alright, he survived the accident but is in a coma

confused patient #1 - (lurches and grabs head-dressing dramatically) oh god!

janine - (from doorway) hey hideo, im going to grab some lunch, do you want anything?

confused patent #2 (jeffery) - AUUUGHHHHHH WHERE AM I!!?

dr. yeung - potato salad!

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[26 Nov 2004|06:23pm]
charles - (runs in, breathing heavily) sorry i'm late again!

diane - (miffed) what makes you think you can just come into work 45 minutes late wearing a Misfits t-shirt!?

charles - (still breathing heavily) i'm really sorry, i got into it with my girlfriend again and we broke up...

diane - i dont give a shit about your girlfriend, i've got a hospital to run here and you're fucking up my program. you're fired!

charles - oh mannnnnnn... what a day!
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[20 Oct 2004|09:43pm]
[ mood | elderly ]

nurse - "arthur, im going to need you to get back to your room now, ok?"

arthur - (shuffling slowly down the hall wearing gown, mumbling incoherently)

nurse - "ok, arthur take my hand, come on"

doug - (chiming in from down the hall) "arthur, your daughters are here to see you!"

arthur - "ohhh!"

doug - "just kidding!"

nurse - "dooooouuuuuug..." (shakes head at doug)

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[18 Oct 2004|07:53pm]
[ mood | sleepy ]

sarah - (looking at charts, etc.) "morning doug."

doug - "morning." (sips coffee)

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[18 Oct 2004|12:27pm]
[ mood | stressed ]

dan - "so did you get those knicks tickets?"

ed - "courtside!"

dan - "shit, ed! how did you score those?"

ed - "brenda's father is some big-time accountant. patrick ewing used to be one of his clients. anyway, he's heading up to niagra falls this weekend so he gave me the tickets."

(together) - "one, two, three." (door to ambulance slams)

dan - "wow, patrick ewing! so are these tickets from him?"

ed - "i guess. i'm not sure. ugh, remind me to never ride a motorcycle."

dan - (laughs knowingly) "yeah, it looks like this guy got tossed in a blender!"

(accident victim flatlines, numerous blinking lights and beeps warn of impending death)

(together) - "WE'RE LOSING HIM!"

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[14 Oct 2004|10:29am]
[ mood | recovering ]

nurse: "gooooood morning! and how are we feeling today?"

patient: "my arm still hurts, how is that?"

nurse: "those are called 'phantom pains', youll have them for a while."

patient: "oh"

nurse: "can i get you anything?"

patient: "some more jello and orange juice."

nurse: "ok honey. ill go and get some if you promise to go right back to sleep once you're done. you need your rest."

patient: "allllriiiiighhhtt..."

nurse: "thats a good boy."

patient: "nurse?"

nurse: "yes?"

patient: "...i love you!"

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